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A Chink of Light

My dear old mum (RIP) used to have a rule: if I phoned her in a crisis, I had to also remember to let her know once the crisis had passed. It’s a good rule and I’ve tried to bear it in mind ever since. After a good few months of the worst mental and […]

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My Pregabalin Hell

It was recently ruled that the drug Pregabalin, used for anxiety and pain relief, is to be reclassified a Class C controlled substance. Here is my account of nine years addicted to the prescription drug.

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A Literary Life

I’ve been mentally troubled for a long time and began self harming when I was 13. My parents referred me to the Children’s mental health service in Sheffield, but despite the psychiatrist telling me I should be admitted to their adolescent unit nothing ever happened. I’m not sure if the referral got lost or my […]

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Hittin’ it, not quittin’ it

Hello again, I’m back after a couple of months of being on medication that dispelled any creative urges, including the capacity to complain when being treated like dirt by mental health services. I suppose it’s a cunning plan on their part, dope you up so you no longer have the faculties to oppose their blatant […]

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Two different flavours of shit

Back in March I decided to withdraw from my anti depressant. I’d been on it for around theee years; it no longer seemed to be elevating my mood and I am already on lots of other meds for pain/anxiety/minor ailments so thought it was time to prune away excess medication. What followed was a period […]

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BDD…WT Actual F???????

Content note: this post is about body image, dysmorphia and disordered eating with mentions of self-harm. So I know I have a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder II with rapid cycling of mood. I have a further diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder, although I have been diagnosed with one or the other condition based […]

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Dry your eyes, mate

I’m ill, which means I need to access mental health services, which in turn makes me more ill. Oh the sweet irony of NHS mental health care. I write this in my GP’s waiting room having just had an encounter that was almost as unpleasant for the doctor as it was for me. As ever, […]

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What’s the difference between Ant McPartlin and a civilian? Rehab is not an option for most of us

  I was sorry to read today that TV presenter Ant MacPartlin was “going into rehab” after admitting a struggle with depression, alcohol misuse and addiction to prescription drugs.  Although McPartlin is in no way my cup of TV tea, I understand that it must have been incredibly hard to have stayed at the top of […]

Read More What’s the difference between Ant McPartlin and a civilian? Rehab is not an option for most of us