Back in March I decided to withdraw from my anti depressant. I’d been on it for around theee years; it no longer seemed to be elevating my mood and I am already on lots of other meds for pain/anxiety/minor ailments so thought it was time to prune away excess medication. What followed was a period […]Read More Two different flavours of shit
Content note: this post is about body image, dysmorphia and disordered eating with mentions of self-harm. So I know I have a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder II with rapid cycling of mood. I have a further diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder, although I have been diagnosed with one or the other condition based […]Read More BDD…WT Actual F???????
If you read this blog, or even worse, have had the misfortune to meet me in the last few weeks, you’ll know that I am not in the best mood. I have a washing machine of vitriol churning in my head and a blaze of anger what I formerly assumed was a cold, dead heart. […]Read More A list of shits no longer given
After just a week I decided to leave the recovery house. I’m not better since my admission; I’m worse, but I fear that being in the house was one of the factors in my deterioration. When I was studying towards my PhD I became acquainted with a chap called Foucault, who had a lot to […]Read More Diagnose and Treat…or Discipline and Punish?
I’m ill, which means I need to access mental health services, which in turn makes me more ill. Oh the sweet irony of NHS mental health care. I write this in my GP’s waiting room having just had an encounter that was almost as unpleasant for the doctor as it was for me. As ever, […]Read More Dry your eyes, mate
Like everyone, bad things have happened in my life. Some have been done to me, and some, I’m ashamed to say, I’ve done to others. Yes, at times in my life I have been a complete cunt. Years of therapy (man) have helped me move on from childhood shit, from blaming parents for omissions, for […]Read More I can forgive, but forgetting’s the bastard.
I was sorry to read today that TV presenter Ant MacPartlin was “going into rehab” after admitting a struggle with depression, alcohol misuse and addiction to prescription drugs. Although McPartlin is in no way my cup of TV tea, I understand that it must have been incredibly hard to have stayed at the top of […]Read More What’s the difference between Ant McPartlin and a civilian? Rehab is not an option for most of us
Are you one of those folk who ‘don’t really understand’ mental health problems? Pull up a chair, my friend.Read More This is how it feels.
A mental health patient explains the frustrations of trying to convince doctors that her illness is biological, rather than caused by a bad night’s sleep, a row with her boyfriend or her menstrual cycle.Read More Something of a Car Crash
Likely to be a regular feature while I’m in acute mental health services. Today it went something like this. Back in the day, when I first developed my spinal problems, I was prescribed large numbers of prescription strength co-codamol. They were handed out in boxes of 100, on repeat prescription, for years, as I detailed […]Read More Catch of the Day